Perfectionism is Destroying your Progress

Perfectionism is a myth.

Setting excessively high standards for one's own performance sounds great in theory.

But in practice, it doesn’t align with our psychology.

So where did it come from?

Perfectionism has a long history, with roots dating back to Ancient Greece and closely tied to the concept of excellence.

Over time, this idea evolved and became more closely tied to personal and societal standards, leading to the mental health issues we see today.

The rise of social media and the constant pressure to present a perfect image to the world has only increased and made this worse!

Curated lifestyles on Instagram have us feeling like our lives are boring.

And they’ll have you believe you aren’t doing enough.

This is a lie, and oftentimes, a dangerous one.

The problem isn’t that you’re not doing enough, it’s that you’ve been sold on the idea that you must be great from the start.

Perfectionism is insecurity in disguise.

The root often comes from fear of failure, judgment, and procrastination.

Since childhood, I was always taught to believe that I had to be correct and impeccable.

The school system teaches us that there is only 1 right answer.

We end up overthinking the choices we make in life, believing that the answer to our problems has to be A, B, or C.

I remember “learning” how to write my name for the first time.

I was 4 years old and in preschool.

The classroom was filled with colorful blocks and puzzle mats.

It smelled like dried-up juice and scented wipes.

My teacher impatiently described how to write a “B”.

“Hold the pencil like this!” She barked for the 5th time.

My natural instinct was to hold the pencil between my index and thumb.

But that was WRONG, apparently.

She expected me to hold it between my 3 fingers: index, thumb, and middle painfully crunched up and squeezed against my first knuckle.

The point here is that I HAD to do it this way or she would make me feel shameful for doing it my way.

I shamefully kept using her technique so this miserable experience would end.

Throughout life, teachers, parents, and peers, portray their own beliefs on you and if they raise their voice loud enough, your mind starts to associate it with danger.

We end up believing we have to be perfect.

We end up feeling like we have to do it the “right” way.

We end up killing our creativity and associating a small mistake with the accumulation of those little traumatic events.

The cycle continues.

• Teacher pushes kid to be impeccable

• Kid believes he needs to be perfect

• Kid suffers by never finishing what he/she started

• Kid ends up miserable and unfulfilled because nothing is ever good enough

Despite what your mind is conditioned to believe, there’s never a perfect starting point or a perfect ending

Mastery in anything comes from constant iteration and refining.

My experiences weren’t all bad.

My involvement in sports and my academic scores incited a competitive edge to my work.

However, combining a traumatic childhood, competitive nature, and a vigorous sense of curiosity, you get an overthinker and serial procrastinator.

The only thing I pride myself about was my intellect because knowledge is power right?

Not quite.

Here’s the overthinker solution: Take an action-based approach.

Mistakes need to be made. You need to get out your first draft ASAP!

This doesn't mean settling for subpar work, but it does mean that you should focus on completing tasks efficiently and effectively, with realistic expectations and the freedom to make mistakes.

First, recognize your perfectionist tendencies and write them down each morning or evening.

Then develop healthy habits that will help you to stay focused on the task and not on the details.

Like meditation, journaling, and focusing on a minimally viable result.

Take a break when you need one, and be kind to yourself if you make a mistake.

Set a deadline for yourself and confidently stick to it, and take small steps and celebrate the successes, no matter how small.

Furthermore, document your process; keep track of what works, what doesn't work, and what you can do to improve in the future.

This will help you to identify patterns and create a system that works for you.

Let’s break it down into 3 simple action steps:

Tip #1: Write down your concerns. The first step to changing a habit is awareness.

Get clear on what’s holding you back by getting it on paper via meditation, daily reflection, and journaling.

Tip #2: Take a minimalist approach. Set a deadline so that you MUST finish by that time block.

Then, develop a minimally viable product that you can get feedback on and refine later.

Tip #3: Reflect & revise. Congrats! You’ve already beat perfectionism by getting out your first draft!

Now you can get feedback from someone you trust and then go back and make it better or improve.

Perfectionism is self-sabotage.

Learning to accept imperfection and take more action will drive us forward.

Action is the answer to the fear of failure, and it can help us to become more confident in our abilities.

Develop a healthy relationship with perfectionism by recognizing that mistakes are part of the learning process and that it's okay to not be perfect.

Use the tips above the next time you pursue a project, skill, or venture.

Soon, you’ll be closer to mastery. All you needed was intention and practice.

As a recovering perfectionist, this is the key.

Hope this was helpful!

Leave me a reply if this gave you some relief.

Talk soon!

Resources:

• Content OS: Set up a framework for content creation around your interests to attain internal fulfillment and financial freedom! Check out the article on creating your own content.

• 2-Hour Writer: Learn a marketable skill by writing 1-2 hours per day that translates to a professional upgrade, starting a business, or bringing clarity to your overactive mind.

• Modern Mastery: Join a like-minded group of individuals committed to content creation, starting a one-person business, and networking with others on the path to self-mastery.

• Hypefury: Tired of posting your content manually? Schedule unlimited tweets and save your ideas in a simple dashboard. I schedule all my tweets on Sunday saving me hours per week! (Also post to IG, FB, and LinkedIn) + many more features!

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